Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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