so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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