I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize