I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
