yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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