You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize