i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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