I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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