plz talk dirty to me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
