I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
