look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
