help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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