This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had to cum in my sink.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
