Umm I'm too high to move.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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