i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
