So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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