i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize