My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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