As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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