dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
