SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
