I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
