no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
