I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
