I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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