I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize