Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
