69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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