I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
