i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
