i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
