I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
