what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
