I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
