its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
