he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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