Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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