when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
