I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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