omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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