Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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