I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
