I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
