There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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