I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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