I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
