I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
