Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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