why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have already put on my inside pants.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
