I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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