i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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