listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
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