I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
