Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
