they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's blow job season.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize