Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
