i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
