I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
