I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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