I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
