I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
