Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
