I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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