I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
