once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
