Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
