Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
