is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
