I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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