I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
