From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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