Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You're earring is so big in my mouth
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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