I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize
